Acceptance Among Communities

It’s hard sometimes for people to find somewhere to fit in. In most cases they have to change their own characteristics and likings to be accepted into a community. Without fitting in there won’t be acceptance. Once accepted there will be standards that need to be followed to provide a sense of stability. Finding a community to be a part of isn’t the hard part it’s finding one that you enjoy being in and can just be yourself in that’s challenging.

In “Reclaiming Our Home Place” Maya Angelou expresses her feelings on what happens after slavery and winning the Civil war. How people go back to their homes because that’s what they know and love. “With liberation comes choices.” (pg.135) she explains how people aren’t afraid to go back to where they were enslaved because that’s the life they knew and what makes them happy. “We can stand for the good. That’s why we risk our lives.” (pg. 137) They go back home after being in fear for so long because that’s the kind of community they want to live in, its where they feel like they belong. After the bus boycott towards the segregation for whites and blacks and where they had to sit an old African American lady walked to the back of the bus and sat down. A young man was so upset that he had just had walked eighteen miles for her to be able to sit in the front and she went to the back that he went to the back and confronted her. She simply said “Son I walked with you, but now that I can sit anywhere. I’m sitting in the back. It’s much more comfortable I can relax, put my bags down, and stretch my legs out.” (pg. 136)
I believe that the Maya Angelou is trying to explain how in a community you have choices of who you want to be surrounded by and where you want to live. The people in “Reclaiming Our Home Place” went back to the only home they knew because that’s where they felt comfortable and they surrounded themselves with not only other African Americans who had been through the same horrible things they had but others who had the same likings as them. “I live in the South because it’s the best place to live. It’s beautiful beyond the weight and even the ecstasy of the memories.” (pg.137) It’s a choice for many to want to live anywhere and make any kind of community they want to. Now that they have freedom to not be stuck in only one place out of the entire world, to not be somebody’s slave, to do what they please like anyone else, they choose to go right back to where they used to be held captive. “With choices comes a different kind of criticism.” (pg. 136)

Is alternating who you are as a person really worth fitting into a certain community? For Clair a young 18 year old girl it was important for her to find a certain group of people she could fit in with and talk to, a certain group of people who would understand her. It was so important for her to do so that she was even willing to almost die to follow the rules of her community. Mim Udovitch author of “A Secret Society of the Starving” explains the internet communities that exist for Pro-ana girls and boys. “Pro-ana, the basic premise of which is that an eating disorder is not a disorder but a lifestyle choice, the sites are a way for them to connect with other girls and to basically talk about how special they are. And they become very isolated.” (pg.111) Clair who made herself become anorexic after visiting the Pro-ana sites feels as though the people on the site are just like her and are her only friends. Knowing she could die at any moment doesn’t matter to her the only thing that matters is knowing that she has a place that she can fit into. Not by a cheap price unfortunately, not only is starving yourself the only way you can join this community but there are commandments and rules you have to abide by in order to stay in. “The Thin commandments on one site, include: If thou aren’t thin, thou aren’t attractive; Being this is more important than being healthy; Thou shall not eat without feeling guilty; Thou shall not eat fattening food without punishing thyself afterward; and Being thin and not eating are signs of true willpower and success.” (pg. 112) Along with these commandments are “thinspirational” quotes and messages on how you should lose weight the healthy way and not turn to the life threatening ways but if you’re emotionally scarred this web site is for you. The Pro-ana community numbers in the thousands and is largely made up of girls between the ages of 13 and 25. “And it is a close community, close in the manner of close friendships of girls and young women.” (pg. 112)

This community is made up of many girls and a few boys who have either had to change their own perspective on life and the way they look or has kept going down the wrong path just to fit into a certain kind of community. All people need a place to fit in but to go to such an extent to try to fit in is not worth it to me. There are rules you have to follow including starving yourself and punishing yourself for eating just to belong to the Pro-ana community. This to me is not worth fitting in to a community who doesn’t accept you for who you are. Find somewhere else to go, surround yourself with people who are like you and find the same things interesting that you do.

Being happy is the most important thing, as long as you are surrounded by a great community where you can just be yourself in. That’s all that truly matters. Having to change who you completely are as a person wouldn’t be worth it in the end, being accepted shouldn’t be a difficult task. A community should be what you make of it and wherever you want it