The overview of the first paper assignment was analyzing the assertion that I chose which would be “certain name brands or items of clothing are important as ‘identity marker’”. For some folks, it’s all about the jeans, or the shoes, or the lettermen’s jacket, or the sweatshirt with a college logo across the front or anything from Abercrombie and Fitch. How is it that these brands or clothing articles have gained prominence? What do they have to say about identity and about our choices? Could choices be dictated by age, gender, or social status? In my original essay I directed the paper towards a “you” paper instead of following the guide lines to an academic essay. There was also a lot of room to express my thesis more throughout the paper. Choosing this paper gave me the most room to improve and go further into depth with analyzing my assertion. I revised about a page length of the entire essay. Mostly cutting out addressing the paper incorrectly to my audience; it sounds better now but as you read on there needs to be further explanation into my thesis. I feel as though if I would’ve addressed the paper properly and watched my grammar I could’ve gotten a better over all grade.
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